Feeling guilty

Ate a ton! Going to weigh so heavy tomorrow! That is all! Good night!

Morning after cheat day..

I drank 9 beers last night. Well I drank 7 beers and a tall can of twisted tea. I also ate a tonnnnnnn ton of pizza!!!!!
I'm proud of myself for not getting up to 10 drinks, but I still feel sort of guilty for cheating so extremely.
I got on the scale to see my damage just now and I'm actually down to 152.2. That doesn't surprise me.
Drinking dehydrates so I will have lost water weight.
The strange part is that my scale actually says I've gained water and lost fat!
I'm starting to wish I had another scale that takes %'s just to double check.
That'd be great if its true but just doesn't seem right!
I guess I'll check and see if I gained tomorrow. I'm willing to bet I will. Not only because I'll get back the water but because I'm going to be eating at a casino buffet today.
My sister brings measuring cups when she goes to buffets, and I think I might try that today!
I don't want to go too overboard. From my experience, casino food is amazzziiinnnnggggggg! It'll really be a task to limit myself.

I have 20 days to lose 7.2 lbs!

Weighing in!

Today's weigh in:
152.4 lbs
24.9% fat
35.7% water

I really want my fat at 24% and my water at least to 36%. I need to recheck my scale brochure but I'm pretty positive I still have a low water weight! And according to the brochure 24% fat is the start of the "fit" range. Right now I'm in "average".

A little tmi but possibly important?
Its the first time my cycle has really started since, well, before I got pregnant last year. (It sucks because I was enjoying not dealing with it but I guess its a sign my hormones are back to normal). Still, I'm not sure how it is effecting my weight. I don't have much to compare it to!

Also, I'm getting sick right now so that sucks too. My throat feels awful. I'm not sure that's affecting my weight in any way, but it makes me not want to do much exercising!

With wanting to look nice in a tight fitting, red dress, I'd really like to work out a lot these next 3 weeks! We will see how that ends up going.
I believe the first time I tried it on, years ago!, I was 145 and it looked nice but I wanted to drop a few more lbs before wearing it out. Now, id just be happy to get to 145 again! I was 19 years old then. So it was 6 years ago. Then college and drinking began and I haven't been probably even the weight I'm at now, since late 2007!
But my low weight in 07 was either 140 or 145. I can't remember!
9 years ago, I was 130 so that's my goal. I want to fit back into the shorts I had then. The least I weighed that summer was actually 128. That's the least I've weighed since reaching my full grown height of 5'7".

But yeah, 145 to wear that dress seems decent. That'd be 7.4 lbs in 3 weeks.

Measuring in!

38-32-37 today
So I lost 1 inch in the middle and 1/2 an inch around the hips. (Since last week)
38-35-39 were my very first measurements when I started a couple months ago. So, since then I've lost 3 in the middle and 2 around the hips.
Not bad! May 2nd was when I started measuring by the way, so it was even less than 2 months..but pretty close!
June is almost over. Its passed wayyyy too fast! But I'm excited for my baby's first 4th of July. I hope she loves it and it doesn't freak her out!
And in a little over 3 weeks is my surprise!
We went to visit Scots dad yesterday and he did not surprise me with maggianos! We did pick up food from go Roma and it was very good. I got a parmesan crusted shrimp Caesar salad and minestrone soup. It kept me at my calorie goals, so I did not cheat! Yay!
That also means that I can keep my regular weigh in day, tomorrow.
I look forward to my progress.
I still don't have a cheat day planned!
I guess I will have to play that by ear. I might try to hold off drinking until July 20. Probably won't hold off but I MIGHT try.
It's strange to not have much planned for a while. I've been so busy lately!
I have a dentist appointment July 2nd and going to be celebrating the 4th at my moms. Other than that, not much going on in July. We are going on vacation in September. Jadyn's first vacation :)
I cannot wait for that! Well, maybe I can. September means October is near and October 19 is her 1st birthday. That's just growing up way too fast!

Clean the house wednesday!!

My house is a disaster. Luckily, Scot will be home early today. (Hopefully within a couple hours). Then I'll be able to clean more. I made a list of rules and chores that the two of us are going to print out, sign, frame, and follow!!
I think it'll make things less hectic around here.

My surprise is in 3 weeks, 3 days!
I'd really like to fit well into my red dress by then. I haven't been exercising everyday, like I planned on. I need to get back into it, at least 3 days a week!
At this point it might speed up my weight loss, since I took such a huge break from it!

I was planning on going to a grilling show this weekend, but its been cancelled. Now, I'm not sure what day I'll do my cheat day. I might just put off until the 4th of July, or something. It usually slows down my weight loss when I take that long between cheat days, though.
I'm just hoping to be below 153.6 on Friday.

Once I hit 150, I plan on trying on my size 10s.
I was planning on getting my haircut at 140, but I've done that already. My hair was just awful. So, maybe instead, I'll get a manicure or something. I need to make a few changes on my goals list.
Scot (accidentally) hinted that we are going to maggianos soon. I'm not sure when he plans to.
I kind of think he wants to surprise me tomorrow, but I could be wrong.
In fact, I probably am wrong.
He said we are renting a room in his dads nursing home to come bring Jadyn to visit him. We have never rented a room before, so its unusual.
I don't want to take my cheat day tomorrow!
I'd have to weigh in in the morning, and the numbers aren't going to make me want to cheat so soon!
Oh well, maybe I can still count or just exercise for 5 hours or something.
I'm super hungry today, it sucks

But at least with Scot coming home soon we can have an early dinner.

So far I've had cheerios with milk, a skinny cow chocolate wafer and a Turkey dog with ketchup and guacamole flavored corn chips.
All in a matter of 4 hours n I'm still hungry!!

19th progress pic

Didn't do well on my diet this week but still have 3 days til weigh in day. I can buckle down from now-then.

My progress pics look better this week, even though I weigh probably just about the same. I must have been bloated.

25 days til my big surprise! I'm so excited!

Weekly high...?

Last night was awesome! I'm so glad we went! The show we went to was on the north side. Its at the conservatory theater and is called the variety drinking game. Look for tickets on goldstar.com! Its only 5 bucks! And Scot was such a brute until we went and he admitted it was a blast and I did a great job buying the tickets!
I ate so much yesterday! And I think I managed to keep it under 10 beers which was a personal goal of mine.
But anyway, my weekly high, unless it goes up more tomorrow, is 155.6 lbs.
That's pretty good, if you ask me! Its only a 2 lb gain from my low!
My water weight only dropped .2%. I think its because I managed to control my alcohol consumption and am not THAT hungover!
2 years ago if I only had 8-9 beers, I'd hardly have a buzz. I got a good one last night!

Further news... as Scot works for the union, his job is over this week. That means he will be unemployed for a little while. Good news: help with Jadyn. Bad news: stressed/grumpy boyfriend.
27 days til my big surprise!!! Ahh I'm so excited!
And cannot wait to post all about it!

Weekly low..

My weekly low is still 153.6 lbs. So that's the number I need to try to be under next Friday.
Today is my cheat day!!
I remember in the past before I took cheat days I'd work out for hourssss!!
That's why I never gained from cheat days back then.
So this morning when I woke up, I did 20 mins of kickboxing. I want to play DDR w my sister when I drop Jadyn off. Then MAYBE if there's time after scot n I get home, do one last work out.
Also, going to try sticking to bud 55s tonight. My tolerance has lowered so much, anyway. If I drink 8 of those, that's 440 calories..opposed to 960 with regular budlight.  Or 880.. I'm not positive.
Either way, I pick 440! I do have a bottle of wine too, though. Way more cals in wine, unfortunately.
I only have 2 hours to drink, anyway. So I'm sure the beers will suffice.
The real killer will be if we go to maggianos today. Every dish is over 1200 calories!!!
I will prepare to measure the heck out of my meal!! So yummy, though!
Happy weekend!!

Weigh-in dayyy

I was not expecting much of a change this week. So, imagine my surprise when I got on the scale this morning...
Weight- 153.6 lbs
Water %- 53.6%
Fat %- 25.1%

I did exercise more this week than I have in the past few weeks. Only for a couple days, but I guess it was the kick I needed.
Its pretty awesome!
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow, too, to see what my weekly low is.
And then I'll record after my drinking/cheat day tomorrow my weekly high.
I know it'll shoot me back up to 157, at least. I might try to count my cals a little bit tomorrow.

Measurements time!!

38-33-37.5
So my last number decreased by half an inch.
That's good news because that's what I need to fit into smaller jeans!
I think at 150 I put that I'm going to try fitting into my size 10s.
I would like to be in them soon.
Though, its getting pretty hot for jeans.
I don't think I have any shorts..other than the size 5s I've refused to throw away for 8 years.
I don't think I'll be back into them this summer. My body is just shaped differently than it use to be.
I use to be pretty much shaped like celery. Now I have curves. I think having kids must create that. I don't mind it. I think I look better now than I ever have in my life!
My big July reward is only 1 month away from today. I really want to fit nicely in the tight fitting red dress I have. I think I need to start a very strict work out plan where I alternate abs and butt every day. That might make it happen.
I'm excited for weigh in day tomorrow!
Saturday is my next cheat day, though. So that might be my weekly low.

My water weight now is 53.4% and my fat is now 25.4%.
According to my scale..fitness level fat % starts at 24%. I'm getting close! So, that's really cool.

Back home!

Worked out with my sister a lot yesterday. Kind of under a lot of unnecessary stress! I just want to eat n eat n eat. I've been strong resisting that urge. I wanted to drink twice this week so far and resisted that, too.
I will be drinking Saturday, though.
I'm thinking I'll finally be under 155 then.  Still waiting to redeem my maggianos reward. And all the other restaurant rewards I've accumulated! It might b easier once I'm at my goal. I really want to start using them, though!
I'm waiting for Scot to get home so I can eat dinner. I'm so hungry!! I need a snack.

Progress pic Tues!

The pics are taken from a different angle today. I'm at my moms house. My weight in the middle pic is around 167 and weight in the new one is about 156.
I've decided that I am going to add another weigh in day. I want to have weekly high and weekly low weigh ins. My weekly high weigh in last week was 159 and this week was 157.2. My weekly low last week was 155.2. I'll post my weekly lows on Fridays and/or the morning of my cheat days.
It keeps me motivated. Also, it makes me keep a more positive attitude when my weight flucuates.
I played DDR for 30 mins last night. I was hoping to play for longer but it didn't happen. Hopefully I'll get more time today.

Wedding #2 in 2013

So today is Scots cousins wedding. My goal was to reach 155 today. As of yesterday I was .2 lbs over that.
Then I went to a corn roast and had no idea the number of calories I consumed. I did my best to guess realistically!
Jadyn woke me up at 4am and I just got her up at 8 so I think I slept enough for a good scale reading.

I am still 155.2 today.
that must mean that I went way under my calorie budget or went over. I was on my feet for hours and pushing a stroller yesterday so I know I got my work out in! .2 lbs isn't far off from my goal. I would still like to say that I've achieved it.
Today is my cheat day though. I'll do my best to keep my alcohol consumption to the glass of wine or champagne provided at dinner.
I hope today doesn't spike my weight back up like it did last week. I think I will try to still count my calories a bit just so I know where I'm at!

I was considering changing my weight in day to a day or so after my cheat day. That's when I'm at my weekly high. But I've been tracking my results on a calendar every Friday so I don't really want to throw that off either.
I'm still seeing weekly progress so I'll just stick to what I'm doing. Next weekend I will be drinking though for Scots fathers day gift. I'll just try to keep it under 7 beers. My tolerance is dwindling as my weight does, anyway. That's still like 840 calories though. Maybe I'll try to keep it around 5! Only because I really really want to be 145 lbs July 20th!

Weigh in day :/

I gained from last week. All because of one day of drinking!
Weight- 156 lb
Water- 53%
Fat- 25.9%

At least the other two numbers have moved in positive directions.
I was going to work out yesterday but never found time. According to my loseit app, I only consumed 1000 cals yesterday. That's most likely the problem, that and I got no sleep again.
Jadyn's been up every 4 hours lately. Its better than her newborn sleep schedule but its still hard on me and Scot. I need to figure something out for her. I'm so tired right now :(

Tonight we are going to a corn roast in Indiana so I'm going to save some cals for that today.
Tomorrow is the wedding. Perhaps that can be calorie counted too. I can attempt it. I have no intentions of drinking after the effects of last week!
I know its only .5 lbs and what can I really expect, given I rarely exercise these days! And the sleep I lack!
So so tired :(
I'll try my best to work out today and check my weight again tomorrow. Seeing as how I wanted to be 155 by the wedding! I'm always so close but can never quite reach the goals!!
Naomi and I have a combined goal to lose 5 lbs by June 21st. I hope my bad luck doesn't throw us off!
I may very well just stay away from alcohol completely until then. I want to be 145 by July 20th. That gives me, I think 36 days to lose 11 lbs. Its not unthinkable and I never ever reach my goals, but I'd really like to hit this one!
Wish me luck and have fantastic weekends!

Update-
After a three hour nap to catch up on sleep:
I weigh: 155.2 lbs
Water: 53.1%
Fat: 25.8%

Sleep is super important for weight loss, obviously. I recommend weighing yourself on a day you get to sleep in! Being tired even FEELS heavy!
So I did end up losing.
.3 lbs down from last week

Another measuring attempt!

It appears as though today I measure 38-33-38. The middle number is the same and the outer two have decreased. Usually it was the other way around. Im cool with that! As long as there's a difference. I still wish I knew I was doing it right, but I believe I've at least been doing it the same.
I worked out for 3 whole minutes yesterday! Perhaps today I will be able to increase that to 5!
Its pretty sad considering how much I was working out.
Maybe since things have been great between me and Scot, I haven't needed the stress relief as bad.
Therapy really helped us 110% and made us fall in love all over again.
I didn't think it'd be possible with everything that happened but I'm finally over the bad things and I'm happy here. There's no one id rather spend every day with than my daughter. We love when Scot gets home, too. Even when he's in a bad mood he's nice to me. I do my best to clean and cook and get things done here, too. Its just a little hard now that Jadyn is becoming mobile. She's not crawling but she rolls her way over to things she's not suppose to touch. So I'm running over right her every 2 minutes to bring her back to her play area. I don't know what I'll do once she starts crawling.
I guess I'll lose weight faster from chasing her around even more! I want her to reach the milestone, though. I wouldn't want her to be delayed just because I'm lazy. The whole point of  getting into better shape was for these moments!
Weigh in day tomorrow!

Starting to hate effect of cheat days

I have a feeling that on my weigh in day I'm going to come in right about 157.6! I've been peaking and I've plateaued there for sure.
OK, its probably a lot my fault because I've lost all motivation to work out. Maybe if I do it today and see results tomorrow it'll be the push I need to get back into it.
I'm so tired right now. I went to bed a little after 10 last night. Then, I woke up around 2am because I had a nightmare. Then again at 4am- Scot woke me up to tell me Jadyn's wide awake. And I've been up ever since!
I might nap with her in a little bit but the incoming storms are worrying me a bit.
We have absolutely no shelter if a tornado hits. The bathroom has a window in it. The only closet we have in the hall is packed with baseball cards. So, me and the baby wouldn't survive but at least Scot will have his stupid hoarder baseball cards! That's the important thing.
Clearly, I'm in a great mood at the moment.

I don't think I'll be at 155 by Saturday, anymore. What's up with the universe not wanting me to meet a single goal? I feel like I had more luck when Naomi and I had combined goals.

I really don't want to be stuck in the upper 150s forever! I need to work(my lazy butt)out.
I hope my tiredness doesn't become an excuse today!
There always seems to be one.

Progress pic month 4

There's not much of a weight difference from last week. Only about .4 lb difference. Hopefully I'm not as bloated though. My weight has plateaued once again, so its important I do some form of exercise today. I really need to get back into it! My body is use to doing nothing at this point and I'm becoming very lazy. Hopefully I'll be meeting a friend halfway for lunch today and we can find somewhere to walk like we did last time.

Catching up

Friday was a blast! Saturday Scot and I went and played mini golf and batting cages, then got ice cream! From those 2 cheat days, I went back up to 159! I was so angry at myself, but at least its still under 160. That's the bright side. Yesterday we went to Scots baseball game and I burnt to a crisp in the sun! Then we came home and ate dinner and he helped me clean. I still haven't really exercised but I'm 157.6 today.
There are 5 days until the next wedding we are going to. I should be able to get back down to 155 by then. I won't be drinking at this wedding reception, but it'll still be a cheat day because I'm sure the food is going to be awesome.
Also, all my shipments have arrived for my surprise next month and I've brought a dress from my moms I'm hoping to fit nicely into. Its a tight fitting red one, which really isn't my style but if I'm below 150 by then, I might be able to pull it off! I need to start working out again though. I think it'll be more effective now since I've been slacking in that area for weeks!
I'd like to do a detox, but with nursing its not very recommended.
Only 4 months left of nursing. So I should lose the weight I want to by then, and then I can worry about detox and tightening. I've already accepted that this summer will not be a bikini wearing one. Maybe next year!
Hopefully tomorrow progress pics go better than last weeks.
I still feel bloated though. I'll look up foods that might help with that.

26.5 to go!

I didn't see much change with the seaweed wrap. I'll probably try at least once more.
I also forgot to take measurements yesterday! Woops!
My weigh in today is 155.5 lbs. Very close to my goal! Drinking will halt it but I believe I can stick around 155 for the wedding next weekend.
It feels so good! I probably weighed this much in the end of 2007- beginning 2009. I know I was between 140-145 staring college in fall 2007. I had gone on a diet to lose weight then, too. I think I was trying to manually count calories, but its not as easy that way. The app is so helpful really! I think I continued to drink a lot around then, too. I was 19 years old but didn't have any kids or responsibilities...other than my part time job at the coffee shop. Now its easier that, even if I wanted to, I can't drink whenever I'd like.
So there are a lot of helpful factors right now! And at this rate, I could reach my goal in a month and a half! It seems unbelievable!!! I've lost 44.5 lbs this year so far. Its fantastic! I'm so happy. I really haven't been working out, but I am still nursing so that's about 500 cals. My sister also found a website where you can calculate the cals you burn in a day without doing anything at all. Mine is 1500. Then add 500 for nursing. That's 2000 calories I would burn if I just sat on the couch all day! Working out would speed things up, too. And that proves, any weight gained is muscle or water (when not on a cheat day).
I've just about reached my Luigi's house goal! But I want to do maggianos first, which will be a couple weeks yet.
Then at 150, I'm going to try on my size 10s and 11s again. When I weighed this in highschool, my freshman year, I was in size 10s. Now my body has changed into a more curvy shape. (Childbirth!) So clothes will continue to fit me differently. We will see where I'm at in 5 lbs though. Have a great weekend!

Busy bee!!

Today, if possible, I'd like to stay active. I'm sure I'll be drinking tomorrow at the cubs game (for once).
I'm just not sure how the weather will be today. My sister was wanting to go hiking in starved rock. Hopefully that does remain possible.
My water % is 52.9 today, which is fantastic. It brought my fat % down to 26 even today. I also did weigh myself just in case I'm wrong and my grandmas scale is a little off. Today I am 156.8 lbs.
I'm sure that'll shoot back up after I drink tomorrow, but I hope not!
His cousins wedding is next weekend and I would still like to be about 155 by then.
Oh, my mom told me a trick to tighten loose skin! Store bought seaweed wrap, soak in water. And place on stomach. Then wrap ceram wrap around you and wear for 10 minutes. I'd like to try that today if possible. I'll take pictures to show if it actually works or not, but it could be an enormous money saver if it works! And no harmful chemicals!

Things are great :)
Now I have to go stop my daughter from licking the floor!

What to do today?

Today is going to be pretty event-less! Tomorrow I'm going to my grandmas and sleeping there with Jadyn. Then Friday I'm going to the cubs game. That will more than likely be my cheat day this week, which means maggianos gets pushed back yet another week. I'm so close to my next reward (Luigi's house) so these rewards better start happening. I'm going to have to have a serious talk with Scot, or just give up and go with someone else! I'll be at my grandmas early Friday morning, but her scale is accurate. I won't know fat or water % but those aren't incredibly significant anyway. My water keeps fluctuating between 52.7-52.8%. I've been trying to increase my water intake but its a little difficult for me. Oh well! Things are going great. I've picked a day for that special something I have planned. Only 45 days to go! So excited! I want to make a goal to reach 140 lbs by then. Its a stretch, huge stretch, but something to aim for! Wish me luck!

Fell behind!

Its been a few days! I didn't intend for that. The truth is, I've been slacking a looooot! I hate to admit it.
I think its because I'm happy with how I look right now so I'm not as worried about shedding it all off so fast. I haven't worked out in about 2 weeks and I've taken way more than a single cheat day a week.
I really want to get back on track here. My goal is to work out for at least 20 minutes today.
My days have been going really well though! My friend Naomi sent me an awesome package that had perfume, tea, no cal sweetner, a poetry book to read to my daughter, and a copy of the book we are working on in published form! I got very choked up. Holding the book in my hands, even if its a rough draft, is like a dream come true for me that I've had since I was 9 years old!
I've been trying my hardest to make time every day to help her edit it. I'll post the progress of it so hopefully one day you can all look for it on the shelves!
More news, I've decided that very soon I will be doing something special. I can't post it on the internet just yet but I will afterwards. It'll happen between July and October, haven't yet decided on the day but very soon.

Its progress pic day. I don't think there's going to be such a huge difference between this and last week.
My weight is 158 today
Water 52.8%
Fat 26.2%

Pics are:
Week 1-week 8-week 16

Saturday Cubs game!

Today my water weight has increased to 52.7% and my fat 26.3%.
My main focus, of course, is my water because my fat will fluctuate accordingly.
Its slowly rising to where I want it to be! (At least 56%).
Yesterday at dinner I had a seafood cob salad. It was very good. I probably should've stopped there but we went to a frozen yogurt place called red mango afterwards. I hate yogurt but this place was incredible, no joke! And servings are between 30-40 cals an ounce. I got a little slap happy and got pretty close to 9 ounces lol which still really isn't too bad but adding candy toppings kind of was. Moment of weakness!
Well, today is the cubs game and I must have stronger will power. Tomorrow we are suppose to go to maggianos but Scot hasn't mentioned much about it so I'm questioning whether or not its going to happen. I would really like it to, considering I've been waiting patiently for about a month now!
I hope I can find a wait to trim my belly. Its really annoying me! The extra skin is making it harder for me to fit into things that I should be able to at this point. And I'll never be able to wear a bikini! :/
My first focus is getting the weight off, then when I'm done nursing Jadyn I can mess with tactics to fix my skin.
On the bright side.. weighing 157 is better than weighing 200, so I've already achieved a lot. That's something to be proud of, and really I am! I haven't weighed this in 5 years and I never thought I would again. It shows that with work, all things are possible!
Keep working hard and have a great Saturday!