Paying off!!!

Weight- 186
Fat- 33.5%
Water- 47.5%
I did another Comcast workout last night that kicked my butt. My lower body is so sore that I might need a break today. Jadyn has her 4 month doctor visit today n then we r going straight to my moms. Her scale is different than mine so I won't be weighing in again until Saturday but that'll be good anyway. I'm really not gonna want to take this cheat day but I need to have a life. Maybe I can work out before going to the benefit. I just hate that last time it halted my weight loss for three whole days. I'm just now back to where I was at the start of last Saturday. We will see how it goes. I'm feeling good about my weight loss so far. This month I've lost 7 lbs! If I continue at this rate I'll reach my goal by October! That'd be amazing considering I had my baby last October and from the peak of my pregnancy I'll have dropped 100 lbs in a year!!

Back on track!!!

Hours of working my butt off helped yesterday. I'm finally passed my plateau!! 187.2. Fat % 34.1. Water 47.1%. Those numbers fluctuate like crazy. But my water weight seems to increase as I drop weight. That's an excellent sign. Also my milk supply has increased. I dropped the 9 hour diet and focus more on consuming about 1500 calories a day.. and then I work out. Between that and breast feeding I burn quite a bit of that. Last night me and Scot did a 20 minute intense Comcast work out and my legs are still tingling. Its such torture doing it but so rewarding afterwards. I really don't know if I want to go off my diet Saturday but 10 dollar all you can eat and drink beer never ever happens! And I only go out once or twice a month. I just won't overdue it. Easier said than done in the heat of the moment. Things are finally progressing again though. Awesome!

Progress pic 2

Still 188.8! Water weight still seems to be dropping which means fat is going up. Ive been back on my diet since Sunday which means that cheat day really screwed me!!! I gained 2lbs and hit a plateau. After this Saturday I don't think I'll be taking another cheat day. I have to this time because I made commitments. Also my milk supply is definitely decreasing but still making plenty to keep her fed. Maybe I'm burning less calories because I'm not making as much milk. Idk. I'm so tempted to throw in the towl today but I'm not going to. I know slumps happen in diets and not every day is a great one. Here are my second progress pics compared to the very first before pics. Again, standing a bit further away from the mirror but hopefully there's a difference there. Probably not much from last weeks though!

Ups n downs!

Weight- 188.8. Water- 47.3%. Fat- 33.8%. No good! :( I thought I dropped more this week than I actually did and I've been working my butt off! I way over did my cheat day! But maybe it'll come off faster soon. I can't get myself too discouraged because then I'll give up and that won't help anything at all. People have been commenting on me looking better so I'm probably at least toning. It really is a process that requires loads of patience when its being done the healthy way. What I'm having a hard time understanding though is if I'm over 5k under my weekly budget on loseit.. how did I only drop .2 lbs in a week? Maybe because I'm replacing the fat with water? I suppose that's a good thing.. it still fluctuates ridiculously though. Yesterdays fat and water %s were much better than today's but the weight was the same! And I worked out pretty much all day and burned off nearly everything I ate so I could see how the sweating would cause a drop in water but I couldn't have gained fat. This scale might just make things more confusing than necessary. At least if it measured muscle I'm sure that number would be progressive. Going grocery shopping tonight and going to load up on healthy stuff! Supposed to be a huge snow storm tomorrow but we will see. Its easier for me to day work out when I have someone to watch Jadyn but I feel like I get more results from working out when I'm done eating for the day. That usually entails staying up when everyone goes to bed and getting less sleep when Jadyn wakes up at 2-3am. But if he doesn't go in tomorrow I can work out for as long as I want tonight!! Crossing my fingers that I'll drop my 2lbs very soon :). After all, my first reward is at 185. Where I try to fit back in my regular pants. My guilty pleasure is I'm still in my maternity pants. They're so comfy and seem to tuck the belly in more but its almost time to give them up lol

Day after cheat day

Well I intended on avoiding the scale but I was far too curious. After my cheat night at tgi Fridays and eating like it was my last meal!.. my weight went back to 188.8. I should've exercised yesterday but I had absolutely no time. However my fat % is 30.1 and my water is 49.9%. Those numbers make up for the weight gain. Also I don't suppose it'll b too hard to take back off. Today I should be getting a little help with the baby whenever scot comes home from baseball practice. Beautiful on how is only day off its dedicated to baseball. When do I get my day off? There r so many things I want to do but have no time for. I'm only able to write this right now because I'm also feeding the baby. I love her more than anything but man I never get any alone time. Even when she naps she wants to be held. Looks like I'll be making a trip to my moms tomorrow

Fantastic numbers day

Weight 186.8. Water 49%. Fat 31.5%. I stayed up pretty late working out last night because my DDR came in. So addicting and such a great exercise! I sweat pretty good from the one! My legs are going to be pretty fit. Hopefully the rest of my body follows its lead. I've lost 14 lbs now on top of my pregnancy weight loss. I can see a major difference now. So excited for Tuesday to see my progress in a photo from two weeks ago

More progress!

Today's scale read is 187.4 lbs. 34.3% body fat and 47% water! Much better than yesterday! I've been working so so hard! When I first got the scale I weighed 10 lbs more than scot and that really sucked. As of last night we weighed the exact same amount. He does exercises with me but I don't think he's on much of a diet plan and he's definitely not nursing so it won't be long until I finally weigh less than him! I am really looking forward to next weeks progress pics because I really feel like there will be a change. As soon as I drop below 187.2 I will update my weight on here. On my moms scale I would probably be about 183 right now. Unless I went into the doctor or got a gym membership I wouldn't really know which is more accurate but until I find out I'm just glad to be below the 190 mark and I'm NEVER going back!!! 57 lbs to go!

Not as great as yesterday

Last night we went to lobster fest at red lobster and I ate myself stupid. Then we came home and exercised for 30 minutes. It was a pretty bad decision to eat that much. This morning my fat and water %s are the same as yesterday but I'm back at about 189.4. This is precisely why I shouldn't weigh myself every day but its really hard not to when the numbers are usually showing positive progress. Oh well maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and be right back on track. I'm still feeling pretty good. We did some intense cardio last night and it felt like my legs were gonna fall off! Didn't work up much of a sweat but could feel some major burn! Hopefully my DDR will be here soon. It counts your calories for you on workout mode to give a more accurate estimate.

Loving todays numbers!

As stated before my scale weighs higher than my moms. Hers said I weighed 187 a few days ago and I checked my weight here and it was 191! I was feeling a bit discouraged from that but now my scale says 188! So the number is almost at my last weigh in on my moms scale. Her scale would probably say I'm around 184 right now which is bad ass but I think I'll wait until this scale goes down to 187 before I update my weight loss on loseit that way I won't feel like I'm cheating. My fat % today is 34.4 and water % is 46.9. According to my scale pamphlet a healthy fat % and water % is 33% and 47%! So I just feel like things are moving in the right direction. I've got about 58 lbs left to go! I've been doing aerobics on Comcast fitness. Not sure if I've noted that in either of the past couple posts but clearly its effective and something I highly recommend! Also my DDR is on its way! Scot ordered me one from eBay.

First progress pics

Well I'm still at Scots and the scale here today says 189.2. Fat%-34.6 and water%-46.7. Just slight changes from yesterday but the important numbers are going in the right direction!! Today is my first progress picture day. I tried taking them the same distance from the mirror as I did in the first but I'm in a different house and different outfit so that may impact things. Not too sure. Either way its only been one week so its not a very drastic change but here we go:

Water & fat %

So I'm back at Scots for the night so he could see the baby. Well we came last night. We talked about things and he finally admitted to everything and apologized. I feel a lot better now. No one can say what the future holds for us but I can't move back just yet. Anyways! I got the chance to get on my scale here and it does weigh a bit differently than the one at my moms. Here I'm 189 which is still below 190 so I'm happy. Its about 5 lbs from where I was on vacation which is good for a week and a half weight loss. My new fat percentage is 34.9% it was 35.2% on February 1st so that's a .3% difference. I'm guessing nearly a 5 lb difference? My water weight has gone up to 46.5% from 46.3% so none of the weight lost was water! Very cool. Also glad to see the numbers going in the directions that I'm trying to get them. I'm posting my progress pic tomorrow. It probably wont be too extreme haha but if you have learned in health class what 1 lb of fat looks like, imagine 5! So we shall see tomorrow. :)

Late night weigh in :)

Last night I decided to take a bath before bed. I figured maybe it'd relax me enough to actually sleep. I weighed myself before getting in and I was 187.2. I drank plenty of water yesterday too. Its pretty great when your night weigh in is less than your morning. I expected to be up a bit since I had just eaten a big plate of spaghetti. I've been sticking to a diet plan my sister told me about where really u can eat whatever u want as long as there's only 9 hours between when u start eating for the day and finish. I don't believe it'd really work to sit around all day eating quarter pounders. I am also sticking to my calorie limit on loseit.com. usually am quite under the limit with the exercise and bfeeding cals I lose. Well it definitely made my night that I've lost 10 lbs in 1 month. Exceeding my goal of 1 lb a week! Not letting up until I'm about 50lbs lighter but what I great start! At this rate id reach my goal by July!!

Night thoughts

I've cried myself to sleep every night since I've left Scot. The night he did that stuff keeps playing over in my head like some sort of brutal torture device. I feel so sick to my stomach today. I thought maybe if he was nice to me and showed any kind of remorse I could forgive him. The sooner I forgive him the sooner the pain may subside. Or at least maybe I'll think less about it. I just want to forget. So, I invited him to go to dinner with me once I meet a certain weight loss goal and his reply was plain and simply "no". I thought for a minute that his cold heartedness made all of this harder to deal with but as I laid in bed last night, once more trying to fight the images in my head, I realized I was wrong. Him being an ass only makes it that much easier. It reminds me that this is not my fault. It reminds me how hard I tried for so long and it was just never enough. It reminds me that I deserve so much more than what he's done to me. Its a reminder that he's the one who's not good enough for me and no amount of loneliness can change that. It reminds me to stop giving him chances and stay the hell away. One day I'll get over this and it'll be when I least expect it. It'll slip my mind more n more every day until finally its gone for good. I'll be the one who gets to see Jadyn sit up and crawl and walk and talk. My love is strong enough, and whatever it is he thinks he feels or has ever felt just simply isn't. My weigh in today is 188.6. Its water weight fluctuation for sure. I've been drinking a lot more of it lately but I still feel sick. I'm not giving in though. I will continue to fight until I am and have what Jadyn and I both deserve!

Actual weight loss entry

Looked at some before n after pics of some other ladies on Google. They had the same goal that I have and achieved it! I cannot wait to post my after pics. These r the motivational quotes I found. I'm feeling pretty great right now. Was 200 lbs after having my baby and am now 12 lbs lighter than that. I've lost close to 50lbs total (from my biggest point during pregnancy). It took me a while to get the motivation and tools I need but now I have both! I'll post my progress pic on Tuesdays. Idk what it'll take to get rid of the stretch marks but as long as I start to tighten up, I can deal with it for a while!

Nights are the hardest

Jadyn is up every 2 hours again like when she was a newborn. I feel like she senses my stress or something. All I think at night about is what he did. The image flashes in my mind so vividly. He's still denying it but I remember now. I guess my mind pushes it out of my brain as some kind of self protection attempt. I guess that shows how painful it is. Just sitting here in this chair my heart is pounding as if I just sprinted a mile. I'll never understand why he did it. He watched me give birth to our daughter and then just 2 months later did what he did. And its not like he was too drunk to remember me, I was right beside him as he snuck the countless gropes on my sister. I just want the images to go away and the pain to stop. I'm holding together for my baby but I just feel so lifeless. I loved him more than life. Its just humiliating how blind I was. So now I need to really focus on my weight loss because it'll help to get over it maybe. But I don't think even then I will ever trust again. I'm waiting for my mom to finish her work out so she can come down and watch Jadyn. Also its probably about time for me to weigh in. He's bringing my scale Sunday along with all my and Jadyn's other stuff. I'll post my weigh in in a comment to this blog. I hope the stress of the past few days didn't pack on all the pounds I've managed to take off.

Not a good diet day!

So I found out some even worse things about my babys father and now things are getting ugly. I ate lots of comfort food which by the way didn't fix anything. Was going to get on the treadmill but ended up driving to his house for a chunk of my stuff. Supposedly hes bringing the rest Sunday. He says he still loves me but I'll never believe it after what he did. I can't even write the words out again. I just want to forget. I don't want to care anymore. I'm basically left to fight my way back from the dead right now. Hoping he will at least cooperate enough to avoid the custody battle. I feel like enough damage has been done, why make it harder? I like how my weight loss blog has turned into my love loss blog. And I did love him. I thought that with him I could get through anything.. but I was wrong. All these years and I never really knew him. I will not blame myself but I need to focus on something to get me through this. So tomorrow I'll get on that treadmill, no excuses. I just pray I get some sleep tonight.

Need my water weight scale!

I'm up 190.4 today. .2 lbs more than yesterday. I'm sure that its water weight fluctuation but wish I had my scale to know the exact percentage. I'd like to get up to at least 50% water. Im sleeping less due to stress and sharing a bed with my 4 month old now. I heard that could stunt weight loss. I really need to get on the treadmill I just feel so lethargic. My baby's father wants to work things out now but I'm just so tired of the emotional abuse. I didn't like who it was making me turn into. I need to be my best self for my little lady bug. Which means living healthier physically as well. Ive gone down 7lbs in a month. It hasn't seemed to effect the milk supply so that's encouraging. I still thinks its best to stick to 1lb a week goal, anything extra is bonus! I'd like to believe that once I get below the 190 mark, just as I've made it below 200, that I'm out of that range for good! If I stayed at the range that I'm at now I could be at 130 in 8.5 months. Although I'd just be happy to get to 150 by summer. Its been about 5 or 6 years since I've even been down that low. I gained the freshman 15 a number of times. Its about time I get rid of it. :)

Another move!

Well things w my baby's dad have made a turn for the worst. For the first time in 3 years I'm done chasing him. It sucks starting over and moving back in with my parents but I've got my daughter and I'll be strong for her. My moms scale doesn't have fat or water % but I weighed myself after lunch and I'm at 190.2. Could possibly be water weight.. I won't know until I get my things from my xs house but I still like to see the lower number. I guess I'll add my before pics now but as I said.. be warned. Stretch marks are love marks! Now that I'm at my moms I have access to work out equipment so that'll be very helpful!

Is it nap time yet?

I slept very little last night. I've been pretty paranoid. Woke up a few nights ago and Jadyn's blankets were stuck over her face. She's fine but I'm terrified of it happening again! Today's weigh in is 192.6 lbs. 35.7% fat and 45.9% water. Both numbers are a little better but I'm sure they fluctuate. Still, better numbers are encouraging :). I'm .2 lbs heavier than when I left for Vegas so I'm back on track.
I still need to post a before pic but viewers discretion advised! My post baby body isn't as glamorous as the movie stars make theirs out to be!

Meat lovers pizza slaughtered me yesterday!

Well I weigh the same as yesterday 194.8. Water weight 45.7% which is a lot lower than normal but its a real task to stay hydrated while b.feeding! Fat is 36.3% which is quite high. I think its actually even gone up since I bought this scale :(. I was so hungry yesterday after not having time for lunch. The baby was extremely cranky! When Scot got home we each ate half of culinary kitchens three meat pizza. Its approximately 990 calories in one sitting. Pretty awful! On loseit.com it sent me about 1,000 something over my daily goal. Think I'll be staying away from pizza for a while. I still need to add my before picture but my excuse today is that its Scots day off and he's making me clean his house. He's yelled at me more than once while I have been sitting here writing this. How supportive right? Story of my life.

Back home

Las Vegas was nuts! I think we were there 1 day too many and I missed my baby girl like crazy. But I'd definitely make it a yearly thing. Didn't even go to half of the places I wanted to! And luckily I only gained 2 lbs. That'll be easy to lose. Its so nice being home and not paying 4 dollars for a 12 oz bottle of water.

day 1

First morning weigh in 192.4 lbs. Leaving in 2 days for las Vegas. Will be gone for 4 days. Hopefully won't gain much on vacation!